light over darkness, love over hate, something over nothing, and flowers in the rain
This affirmation is because I’ve been having trouble asking for help in my classes. And then as time goes on, and I still do not ask questions out of shame, I still do not know the material. And so I get more and more confused, lost, and behind in the class. This is a problem.
I am trying to remind myself that I can still ask for help in these circumstances. It is not too late. It is never too late to ask for help. There is still time for me to learn.
I have a DBT magic inside of me.
Sometimes I get out of my healthy habits and stop using skills. But I can always go back to them. There is knowledge and muscle memory in my body, and I have diary cards and lists in my folder. I am capable of using skills again. I can use the DBT magic within me to make my life better.
My DBT magic makes me powerful and capable. With it, I can confront difficult situations.
I can REMEMBER and stay in the PRESENT.
As part of the prolonged exposure therapy I’ve been doing, I do imaginal exposures, which involve talking through a traumatic memory. I tend to dissociate when talking or thinking about the trauma, so it’s sometimes hard for me to continue thinking about the memory because my mind goes blank with dissociation. However, I need to engage with the memory in order for the memory to make me less scared in the future, so I can’t just block it out. I have to balance not dissociating (by grounding myself in the present moment) and remembering the memory (which brings me a little to the past).
This affirmation is to remind me that it is possible to do this. It is possible to remember without having a flashback or dissociating. I can remember non-traumatic events and still know where I am in the present. With time and hard work in treatment, I am gradually able to do the same with traumatic memories.
I am confident in my ability to steadily push forward and improve by cultivating my healthy habits, reflecting, and asking for help when I need it.
I can adapt.
Plans can go wrong, and I can adapt.
Things that I didn’t expect can come up, and I can adapt.
Everything changes with time, and I can adapt.
There are good days AND bad days. Keep going, and you’ll find both.
When I’m not doing well, it sometimes seems like these bad things are all that have ever existed and all that will ever exist. But that’s not true! Good days will come again.
Conversely, sometimes when I’m doing well, I think that I’m finally at an idealized “better” place and that my life will be perfect from now on. That’s not true either. There will always be hard times, easier times, neutral times, happier times, sadder times, etc., throughout life. When I expect things to be more perfect than is realistic, it a) makes me stressed about the good times ending because I know deeper down that I won’t be able to keep up with these expectations, and b) makes me crash harder when I start to feel worse again.
Reminding myself of the duality and accepting both the good and the bad helps me to keep a more balanced perspective.
Be Reasonable
Be Realistic
Let it be good enough
It says:
I’m a survivor
I don’t won’t give up
I will survive
Keep on surviving
I am strong enough to handle this
Life is still worth living even when there’s pain
I am going through a rough time, and I will make it through
I will get back up again
Not giving up today
I know that I’m really really really gonna be okay
Credits/citations: The first four lines are from the song “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child. Those aren’t quite the lyrics because I misheard them, but I like them. “Life is still worth living even when there’s pain” is a line from the radical acceptance part of my DBT handbook, DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, second edition, by Marsha M. Linehan. The last three lines are from different parts of the the song “Get Back Up Again” from the movie “Trolls.”
You may have guessed that this is something important to me from the fact that it’s the name of my blog. 🙂 I’ve actually had this sticky note longer than I’ve had this blog. I wrote about what “Something over Nothing” means to me here a while ago.
Something over Nothing 