You may have guessed that this is something important to me from the fact that it’s the name of my blog. 🙂 I’ve actually had this sticky note longer than I’ve had this blog. I wrote about what “Something over Nothing” means to me here a while ago.
(note: mentions of death)
I have been through a rough time.
I am grieving.
It makes sense that I am sad because there are important people missing from my life.
It makes sense that I am angry because their deaths block my goals of spending more time with them and showing them my love.
It makes sense that I have thoughts like, “I don’t understand why I’m not dead yet,” because with all the people that have died, it has shaken my foundation and made me more likely to believe that anyone can die at any moment. AND, at the same time, the vast majority of people I know have not died, and there is no rational, causal reason that I would have died, either.
It makes sense that I have the thought, “I don’t understand why people are nice to me,” because I have received conflicting messages and amounts of help in the same situations.
I wrote this when I was struggling with the thoughts mentioned above. I was invalidating my feelings and feeling shame, guilt, and anger at myself for thinking these things and reacting this way. I was just making it worse. So, I wrote this rather intentionally to validate myself. Because what I’m feeling and thinking is valid and comes from somewhere, even if I don’t always know where that is.
What starts off as a bad day doesn’t have to end as one.
It’s a dialectic!
(update: this isn’t going to be an everyday thing. That feels like too much to me.)
These are some things on the internet I go to when I’m looking for a little pick-me-up.
- Bright drawings of animals with encouraging things: http://thelatestkate.tumblr.com
- Cute gifs of a kitten and a witch saying nice things: http://kittenwitchandthebadvibes.tumblr.com
- Pictures of manatees saying reassuring things: https://calmingmanatee.tumblr.com/tagged/calming-manatee
- Expressive watercolor artwork and nice words, some DBT stuff: https://www.instagram.com/sydneiiii/?hl=en
- A good, long list of grounding techniques: https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/flashbacks.htm
- The song “I won’t say I’m in love” from Hercules, played on the piano (relaxing): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDmW_CBcMDU
- Parody of Taylor Swift’s song “Blank Space” but with moms (funny, cute): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FrBS2pPcak
- Mouse over the circles to reveal a picture of a koala (satisfying): http://www.koalastothemax.com
- “Every Romantic Movie” — funny, punny, sweet, like watching a full romantic movie but in 6 minutes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mGeRC6k5Fc
- Playlist of jokes by youtube channel Vlogbrothers (punny): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFym8JwlYxY&list=PLMs_JcuNozJYOfHXHGTtHse4XYvnygc8A
Do you have any go-to’s or favorite videos or websites?